no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
