Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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