I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We had sex on a dog bed..
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
