well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
