Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
