I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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