I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
