i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
