You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
id be glad to
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
