the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
