I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
