Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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