Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
