i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
