glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
