You're my little dorito
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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