But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
