I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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