My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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