My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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