dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
