Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
