So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
