i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
