I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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