That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
