so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
At least life still wants to fuck me.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
