cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
