so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
