I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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