An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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