Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
