how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
