So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
