My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
