you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
