do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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