Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
