well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
