i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
