oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
