Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
