these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
