Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
