Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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