yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize