yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
