Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
