I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
