I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize