Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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