i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
