That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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