I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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