Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
