He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
