I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
