Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
