It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
